I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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