the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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