Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
