Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
