I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
