When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
