i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
