Quick, to the slutcave!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
