I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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