My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
