Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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