She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
