What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
