i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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