He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Sober January is a disaster.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Sorry my hands just texted you
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
