How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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