my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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