you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
