dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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