My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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