Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
