i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
