Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
