Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize