addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
