some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
