so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
