you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
