recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
