What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
