if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
