btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
