i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
