True but thats because hes a fetus.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
