The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
