Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
