is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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