I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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