Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
