Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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