she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
