I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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