i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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