I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have tasted many bathrooms
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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