so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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