This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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