Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize