i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
