I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
