I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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