Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
