You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
