I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
