I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
