Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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