So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i think my mom watched the whole time
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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