After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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