unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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