Christians are straight up FREAKS
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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